Recently, I started looking around for real estate. I felt cramped in my 900 square foot condo, wanting more space to feel less stressed. Chatting with real estate agent and explaining my needs, I had a dilemma. I wanted more space for my things but my lifestyle didn’t need it. The whole reason why I’m in this condo is because I wanted to downsize.
I knew I didn’t have a space problem now; I had a lifestyle and habit change problem.
Why Lifestyle Change and New Habits
I used to live in a 3 bedroom, 2 bath, 2 car garage, 1400 square feet all by myself, with all my stuff. Though I LOVED my garden and I loved the space, there just wasn’t a need for all that room.
To be honest, I was having tea with my 65 year old retiree, empty nester neighbor. After filling her in on my life and how I spend my time, she said the words that would inspire me to re-evaluate my time: “Lauren you need to get out more.”
I felt like her words sucker punched me!
With that, I opted to downsize, spend less time on home maintenance, allow myself to interact more with my surroundings and enjoy people more than things. Any new lifestyle change requires new habits.
Life as a pilot only added fuel to this motivation. Every time I come home from a trip, I would like I my crowded space and just want to purge or get a bigger place.
Talking to my real estate agent just didn’t make sense for the goals I wanted for myself (more people less things). So I decided to purge. After the purge, I started to redecorate. In the midst of redecorating one thing always remained, mail on my dining room table.
It didn’t matter how much I got rid of or what new furniture fit my space, I still felt the clutter – because of my mail and papers on my dining room table.
Why couldn’t I change this one thing? And why is this new habit so hard?
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4 Considerations to Habit Change
Let’s break down this process to lifestyle change because this is applicable to any goal or habit you set for yourself.
You can change everything around you, but if your eating habits are the same after you lose 30 lbs, it’s all going to come back. Or if you change your entire body and your mindset is stuck thinking you’re not fit enough or pretty enough or smart enough, no matter the amount of compliments will make you think otherwise and happiness is a far fetched fantasy.
Big picture, this is a lifestyle change. Yep, changing to new habits to have a clean dining room table requires a lifestyle change.
There’s a simple phrase I say often when it comes to change: You either change your mind or you change your environment.
This stems from reframing the exact situation you have issues with. Folks like Elsa Majimbo do this very well. If you don’t spend your money, who will? You’re not fat, you’re big boned. You’re not sweating, you’re glistening! You get the idea.
Reframes are great change of perspective and sure they can be deceiving OR they can be helpful change in mindset. See what I did there!
Environmental changes are just as effective in lasting change. Humans are creatures of habit – in the way we think and the way we respond, act, react. If you’re stressed out, perhaps you automatically start grabbing your favorite salty snack. After dinner you automatically sit in front of the tv.
We all have our tendencies or habits. These habits are what establish your lifestyle.
Working backwards, to make a lifestyle change, you have to create new habits.
Here are the areas to address after knowing you want to change.
Incentives for your Lifestyle
Can’t teach an old dog new tricks…unless there’s a worthy incentive. We’re all capable of change. Change is also hard. But when the prize is that fine, highly desired, and worthy, everyone will work for it.
Review your incentive. You can tell yourself you DON’T want XYZ, instead ask yourself what DO you want. And is that desire great enough for you to take action?
I don’t want to come home and feel like I have to purge something or do housework. Instead I want to come home and feel peace, ease, and retreat.
Timeline for Change
Short term change is easier than long term change. Depending on your incentive and your intrinsic goals, your timeline may affect how hard you work.
Lasting change may make you feel you have all the time in the world to change… but then you sacrifice your level of comfort right now.
My personal view: if it’s worthy to be changed, change it for good.
I’ve been living with mail on my dining room table for years and I’m tired of it. I’m ready for lasting change.
Degree of Change
Is your change large or small? Are you figuring out a new route to work or parking further away from the entrance.
No matter the size, change is still uncomfortable and requires effort to break your norms. However, breaking down large changes into smaller changes is beneficial.
For one, small changes keep you in the mental space of change. Keeping this habit allows you to constantly exercise change.
Of course cleaning off my dining room table is an immediate and somewhat easy task. The larger task at hand is a filing system. We think the issue is a small issue but it reveals a larger issue, which can feel overwhelming if tacked first.
Support Environment
Last but far from least is establishing the environment to encourage change. Often, this area is overlooked.
Remember change requires change.
Especially if you want the change to stick for the long haul.
Which people in your life will help encourage your new change?
What space is required to encourage your new change?
Which clothes, equipment, tools are readily available or needed to incorporate change?
There are two things that will help my mail situation:
A dedicated place to open mail, file mail for review and file mail that requires action.
Chargers or placemats on the table and a decorative centerpiece.
I know it looks like I truly have a mail issue.
I thought I wanted a bigger space when really, I needed to clean out my space get more organized.
If you haven’t noticed yet, these recommendations are great for any goal such as getting healthy, losing 10 lbs and regaining energy.
Reread this blog to find out how you can implement these steps to create change.
For further reading, try these books. These are affiliate links and will take you to other suggested titles:
Atomic Habits – Excellent book on how to establish new habits and break unwanted habits.
The One Thing – A paradigm shift on how to approach productivity and tasks
High Five Rule – When you’re looking to change your mindset and help with your motivation backed by science, read this book.
I’d love to hear your favorite books and what habit you’re working to change. Give a comment below.
If you’ve read all the books and still find implementation impossible, I offer coaching, support, and accountability to change the way you think about your hardships and change your lifestyle and habits to increase your energy and reclaim your health. Contact me when you’re ready!